Almost there

So as I sit down to write this I realize we have 68 days left with Healthy U.
That's roughly 10 weeks.

I am realizing I need to buckle down and get some stuff done.
The last month has been full of ups and downs (mostly downs) and I am seeing the results of all of that on the scale.
I haven't had a period of weight gain this whole year, so to see it this month I am now more motivated to finish up strong! 

I know that I will have to eat strictly on my meal plan and get into the gym as much and more.
Now with softball over, I have lots of time. 

I haven't made a blog post for about two weeks, so I will take you through some of that time in photos: 

Flowers from my mom!

(ignore the SnapChat word-bar)

Flowers from my dad.

Both for my birthday.

My School ID for this year- it's an alright photo.

My friend Karley was in the states back in May. She suggested doing a "Smash Cake" photo session for my 30th birthday. These pictures turned out so good, I just wish it had been closer to my actual birthday so that you could see my weight loss difference since then LOL Those jeans don't stay on me anymore haha ... and only a small bit of cake was eaten during this session ;) 

We had our 9month evaluations for Healthy U

I am happy with the differences I can see.

I never thought I could make this happen, but I have!

I am so close to reaching goals, and I know I need to keep pushing.

Aw yeah!

We cut open persimmon seeds in my class.

They are the kind that "predict" what kind of winter we will have.

All of them were spoons!

That means that we will have a lot of snow to shovel!

My mom had knee surgery on Tuesday. She's doing really well.

Tuesday was also our softball banquet. It was fun to get dressed up and 'show off' a little bit!

This is myself, my senior Darby, and my assistant coaches Palmer and Turner.

This girl is signing to play ball in college on Nov. 15th-- I'm so happy for her.

I have two girls (so far) signing to play ball at a higher level!

These are my seniors I am losing this year. Six of them!

This past week was also conferences. It's always nice to "re-meet" parents. When you meet at the back-to-school night, it's such a blur, you don't remember everyone! 

All-in-all, I know where I am at. I know where I want to be, and I am coming up with a plan so that I can get to where I want to be.

Oh and also, if you are on the fence about applying for Healthy U, DO IT!

Don't hesitate. It's life changing!

Birthday

So... my birthday is this week!
I am turning 30.
Anyone I tell that I am turning 30 doesn't believe me.
Well, it's true!

My friends threw me a fabulous birthday-day this weekend, let me show you what happened:

First stop: Breakout CoMo It was SO FUN! We broke out of the room and it felt so good to accomplish it! (I can't tell you any secrets about it -- we signed a waiver lol) 

Second stop (After Tropps) we went to see Phil and Jess and the boys! 

THEN we went to dinner (which was interesting) and after that, we went to Paint the Town and made Scarecrows! How cute! 

My girls and me in the back seat (the boys were in the front) 

I got some amazing gifts from my friends. My friend, Karley who is currently in Germany, sent me an elephant ring holder-- it's SO cute! 

And I got this HUGE basket of goodies from my friends! So many fun things to "keep me young" 

Including this new workout tank! 

I took Friday off before my birthday, and I took tomorrow (Monday) off.
My actual birthday is on Tuesday.
I am proud of myself for taking some time for myself.
This quarter of school has been rough, and a break has been nice. 

Last week, we did our 9 month evaluations for Healthy U.
I didn't perform as well as I could have on the physical parts of the test.
My inches continue to go down, my weight is down, so that is good.
I am ready to get back into the gym to get stronger this last quarter and finish strong! 

Judgement

I truthfully don't know how to start or what to say. 

I am learning the affect that judgement has on me. 

I have never felt as judged as I have the past 3-ish months.
And the feeling I feel is crippling. 

I'm not being judged for my weight, looks, or ability.
It's because of decisions I have made or decisions that someone close to me has made.
I am being judged for my emotions or lack thereof.
It's unfair and quite frankly it's hurtful. 

I know what I believe in my heart.
I know that it is of God, and I pray that I am right.

Life gets really hard to navigate when you throw all these extra people and feelings into it.
And right now, I'm just broken.
Broken by other people's perception.
Which shouldn't bother me at all, because I am a "Strong, Independent Woman of integrity" blah blah blah 

I have had my heart broken in more ways than one this past year and it is a daily struggle to continue down the road of eating right, staying positive, and living my life.
If anything, all of this is strengthening my faith, which I always thought was pretty strong, but now I'm seeing that I have to lean completely on faith for this.
Because of the judgement.
I know that God is not going to judge me. 

A few quick pictures and then I will end this post: 

The picture on the left is from probably two years ago. The picture on the right is from last Saturday. I'm not wearing make-up in the "now" picture, and there is no filter applied. 

The picture on the left is from March of this year. The picture on the right is from Homecoming, which was Sept. 29th. My jeans on the left are a size 16, on the right a size 12. 

My mom and I have been working on this at the same time. On the left is a picture from when I was announced Teacher of the Year for our district in February. The picture on the right was from this morning at church. The shirt I'm wearing on the left is an XXL, size 18 pants. On the right is a dress size 14. 

Alright, that's all I have for today.